One Thousand Years
Caleb fell backwards startled and abruptly sat down.
Thomas didn't even bother to look up. He had closed his eyes trying to squeeze out the memories and now he didn't want to open them. He didn’t want to see the present. He wanted to be anywhere but here.
The words had come from nowhere.
Suddenly and completely unexpected they “materialized” out of thin air. But he knew that voice. He recognized it. That still small voice. He knew that gentle sound. He felt that power of emotion only one could possess. It may have been dark but he knew who stood by the fire.
How He “appeared” in the midst of them was irrelevant.
He was here.
The Son of Man said,
Thomas stood, tears streaming down his face.
He turned to meet his God face to face. Gone to him were the crowds of AnimalKind crouched and couched around them like some futuristic nativity. Had he been able to see it, this was a ‘birthing” of one kind.
Mankind had a nativity, scales required balance.
There was symbolism and types occurring. As though this had already been done before. With different characters.
No thought was given to the Angelic Golden Horse behind him or Caleb or the fire or anything at all except the man standing right in front of him. Standing next to him by the fire.
Clutching Jesus He cried out like a wail,
Echoed in his wail he saw the look of all those before him in the dark cloud of his accusers saying the same thing.
In his mind he could see them all. They no longer were pressing forward. The one thing they had come to do they had done. Collectively they came when “the calling” of the land had sounded. Together they appeared to discover what had occurred.
One thing they all had in Creation that Man did not. When the Creator appeared, they had their answer. Nothing more than his appearance, nothing less than His Being Present.
Knowledge that the Creator of All Things was there, meant complete and unfaltering Trust in this Lord. They did not need to understand. They did not think to interfere. With God present, all was well.
Whatever occurred, they knew, God was in It.
That was enough.
Dissipating like some ghost blown apart and away by the wind they walked away.
Yet with each one leaving a railing cry of the accusation Thomas felt they bore flailed against his mind in recollection. He was the one who did not trust. He was the one who was trying to understand. He was the one who was the accuser and accused. Thomas was a man torn from the inside out.
Thomas sobbed and clung.
All reason had left and all guilt was ashamed. Nothing permeated the sheer feeling of desperate need as Thomas simply hung. He sagged as one who was dying or had died with only the arms of the Saviour of the World to hold him up.
He was held as one who had come to his end.
As secure as the cross had been which one had been nailed to even more so the arms that held him secured him.
Secured this the man who was helpless.
He had no strength left to resist. He had no thought at all. He was wide open. The book of his life lie exposed for all to read. He was weakened to the point that if God had let go, this ManKind would surely have fallen and perished.
But God did not let go.
God would not let go. Thomas had come face to face and now was in the shoes his ancestor Jacob had been. This time though there was no promise to wrestle, no blessing to give, merely a promise to fulfill.
As he had done and continued to do till all be accomplished the Man, the Lord, the King would not let go till the fulfillment of a promise was made. The fulfillment of a promise made to ancient ancestors and that time was now to complete.
Holding Thomas, the Son of Man bent his head to him.
Tenderness sublime, empathy divine, the Son of God knew this man.
Saviour, Redeemer, Messiah and King, the servant of the Most High didn't say a word but held Thomas as he wept years away. Thomas cried the years of pain. He wept the decades of misunderstandings, lack of acceptance, failure to be who he wanted to be.
Every dream, every nightmare, all his secrets, all his passions, came bubbling up from the well of his soul. They drowned him in its torrent. Every locked closet door, every hidden forgotten skeleton, every belligerent rebellious thought, every conceivable good intention, all of them together at once came up.
All came to the forefront of the hold Jesus had on the Mankind Thomas.
Neither of them would let go.
One did not know how, the other would not let go, ever, never.
Flooding, reliving with Thomas the memories of his entire life up until the Kingdom had come, Thomas and Messiah saw it all. It could have been a movie, but it was real. It might have been a memory, but it was real. It could have been stepping out of time to a place where time didn’t not work that way most thought, but it was real.
It was the Story of His Life.
They both felt every emotion, shared every tear and heartache. Being held by God had opened a Pandora's box of memories. What started in the forefront of his soul with the most intense, recent experiences requiring address, regressed now into a full disclosure of the Life Thomas had lived.
All his life was evident to the One who held him there.
The One who would not let go.
Not one moment, one thought, or one detail of any experience Thomas had ever committed or participated in was left out. All was included and all meant all. God himself now sharing it too.
Much was unveiled for the first time. Many of the hidden moments were broadcast as if aloud for all to see and hear. Nothing too personal, nothing beyond viewing in both heart and flesh, nothing edited.
It was the Life of Thomas raw.
It was as if the Messiah of God was now the Cross of the Christians.
Being held by Him was like hanging there on the balance of the crucifixion.
The weigh scale of life. The fulcrum that would hold eternity in the balance. It was the height, the depth, the breadth, the weight of what one soul was worth.
What one life affects a universe, Thomas was poured out like water upon the Cup the Son of Man is.
As aghast as Thomas was, the Son of Man was a thirst for more.
For all that was Thomas. Every fibre of his being was now enveloped into the Holy One of God. The Father was there as well as the Spirit, with the Son present Thomas was undone molecule by molecule. Every cell, all nuclei till little remained but consumed by the TriUnity of the Echad that God is.
He was One with his maker.
At one with his God.
One, for a moment in time.
Time was irrelevant. A moment passed as a day, a day as a year, a year as a time, and times flew by as eternities.
But only moments passed till the end of all his life had been relived.
Anguish at times gave way to humiliation. Failures, success were all reborn, experienced without a word said by Jesus. Nothing on the outside was evident but one man standing holding a slumped man clinging.
But in clinging to Him Thomas knew God was going through all he had done…..,
Even his sins.
The Father and the Son and the Spirit were one.
Only the Son had become Man in kind to be identified with Man.
This He was doing In Thomas now. He as Son of Man, becoming In Thomas with Him, beside Him, in Him. One with Him to join Him in his judgment, or his forgiveness.
Thomas felt all this.
He knew this Jesus, Messiah, Saviour of the World had become as only the Son of Man could be. While fully Mankind He was still God. In echad the unity that Son was one with God in Godhead could not be separated.
If in fact God was in Thomas, as Jesus was so becoming, God would not separate himself, from himself. How could He?
Thus Thomas received more than He ever would know.
The image, the earnest, a very part, a very nature of god in him: Immanuel. Now the mystery of godliness was at work in Thomas and he became One with the Son.
Until all these times that he had lived before the present had transpired, Thomas hung on and was held. The “times of Thomas life” in the past, up until the Kingdom, was displayed before them and Thomas hung on.
The Age of Thomas that had not caught up to the present, by that time, Thomas simply hung on for life. And life, held him.
Jesus would not let go.
He never let go of Thomas. He did not let loose through all they experienced together. When present caught up to the present Jesus leaned over and said,
"I love you".
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